Drug Induced Changes of Personality

Ok sure Ritalin can help flighty people focus, but at what cost? The woman of my life has almost always been a happy, crazy girl that always had something to say or something to do. Her room has always been crowded with her artwork and just random girly doo-dads. She was a girl that wore her heart and soul on the outside. Of course I said WAS on purpose. Recently she has been taking Ritalin in order for her to focus on her schoolwork. This is important, education is always an important thing. But sometimes I worry we make sacrifices for things and miss what it is we are losing.

For the entire year me and my other half have been together we have fought a total of three times. Now, she has become completely different. She has become withdrawn and depressed. She has become obsesive compolsive about every aspect of her room. Recently she even tore up almost every last piece of art she created. It was a terribly sad to hear her destroy hundreds of pieces of art that she had put so much of herself into making. It was like listenning to a mother destroying her own children.

Perhaps she will level out after a while or maybe it will continue to drive her crazy. Either way I know I will be there to keep pulling her back from the edge and put a smile on her face. Maybe she needs the meds maybe she doesn't, only time will tell.

Support from Affar

It is a horrible pain to try and comfort someone over text messages. Have you ever tried? It is both sad and not very effective. Being separated and unable to console the one you love is horrible. Being young and without money is a serious pain, but its important to have an education right? Sometimes I wonder if the cost is worth it, and I don't mean the financial cost (though that is pretty high as well). I'm referring to he cost of stress from worrying about the one you love walking around through the bad parts of town, hundreds of miles away to go to a job where she's treated like a third world sweatshop worker. Of course why not get help from family? Well that should be obvious, if you aren't a parent just put yourself in their shoes. Reunite a young couple through great expense of your own, when you are already putting so much money into funding their education? What is likely to happen to that young couple? Most likely not stay together or distract each other from their work. Those are the general thoughts of any parent, and honestly, that's good. From the point of view of the young couple, it blows big time. Especially when you worry about that significant other so much it can detract from health and school work, of course you don't share such information (those thoughts would just be brushed off as crazed young love, even if you never grew up as a kid). I think this rant has gone on long enough. Bottom line here is I wanna be reunited with my significant other, and honestly it would be for the better. Although, her education would probably be slowed down again, but if its the last thing I do she's getting her degree.

One More Rant

I have to wonder at times, why does it seem that if you aren't a Christian you are either some blight on society that must either be shunned or converted at all costs? It isn't even a mild occurrence, it is everywhere. Summer programs and military academies also run into problems its seems with those that don't do the whole church thing. When everyone else is taken to church, what do you do with the others? Do you force them to go and sit in the corner while others worship, or do you have them do some menial chore? I hate to say it, but its been an issue for me about oh... 5 times? Its so bothersome being some sort of blight or burden. Honestly, just leave us be. Not to say ignore us completely, but there is no need to worry about the rest of us during those religious moments. It is the awkward attempts at caring for the rest of us that just, well makes things more awkward.

Still, why are we so different? We may not all have some religion we follow, but this doesn't make us some horrid member of society bent on the perversion and destruction of all moral structure. Sure some of us "heathens" are destructive to the moral fiber of society, but even the religiously devout have their crazed lunatics that do more harm than good. We all have our own moral frameworks we employ in our daily lives (except the sociopaths, those guys do what they want) and I can almost certainly guarantee that they are all generally oriented to the betterment of society! So honestly, what is so horrible about a christian and a religiously neutral person getting married? Will the person that takes no stance in religion suddenly turn away the christian from their beliefs? Will the neutral person suddenly take on a religious preference? I doubt it, and it shouldn't matter. If someone is neutral how are they bad? They take no stance!

One last little gripe to rant about. What is so evil about D&D, Magic the Gathering, or fantasy? Yes, most are about evil corrupting the world, but how many of those actually end that way? In the end doesn't good and righteousness win? I dunno what is so dangerous about something that doesn't exist? Besides, if imagination is so dangerous, and people actually start believing the games and stories well... I think they have bigger problems than D&D, Magic and fantasy stories. I suppose people may have problems with the rare few that have their lives fall apart from ignoring work and school for these fantasy worlds, but again I the fantasy worlds and such are not the issue! Its the lazy bum that didn't want to stay rooted in reality and put effort in being a real person. I just have to say, you find me a person who was actually able to summon demonic powers or some such through D&D, Magic or the like, I can find you someone who's making it all up.

First of the blogs!

Well here we go, first of the blogs to ever go up on this thing. I doubt I'll update this very often if ever really. I'm more at ease troubleshooting a program or most other computer activities. Its when it comes to html and forum programming that I'm at a lost. I'm pretty sure I'm not a very sociable person, its pure luck I happened to meet my fiance. Well she isn't my fiance yet, but next time I see her, she will be. I can't wait to get rid of that darn ring!

And one more thing... There was an advisor I had back at the Air Force Academy (yes I used to be a cadet there, I've actually been in almost every single cadet program) that once made a joke that I'm being trained to take over the world. He thought it was funny after looking at my course load at the time, which was entirely mandatory classes, but when I think about it he was right. Its strange idea and really what sane person would think it? But all my life my mom has stated I must be ment to save the world or something, due to the crazy string of events she had to go through and the pure randomness of how my parents met, just for me to be born. I was always pushing to grow up as a kid, was always sharp, and drawn toward fairly odd things. Seemingly everything I'm drawn to has some application toward "saving the world" or some such. Its odd, but if it does pan out and that happens, I'm definatly going to be laughing for a week at least. I wonder what that means for my fiance?